I wish I was a female tiger because then if I was talking to someone and I was getting off topic I could say “but I tigress,” and then kill and eat them because I am a tiger
(via serena-dipity)
| what you said: | Im going out for a little bit, mom. |
| what she heard: | Im going in a car with a stranger and we're gonna deal drugs and kill people im never coming back I hate you and your cooking sucks |
